Merry (Belated) Christmas!

Christmas here was GREAT! My Mom and Frank came out to visit on the 23rd. We got to hang out at the house that night, eat pizza and just relax. The boys got a ridiculous amount of clothes and toys--even from people who have never met them. Boy, are they loved! Christmas Eve Rob and Frank did some last minute running around and then Mom, Frank and I went to church. We came back, grabbed Rob and the boys and headed up to Adam and Nancy's. We stayed there for a bit, visiting with then, Nancy's parents and the neighbors. We came home and got the kids into bed--after putting out cookies and milk, reindeer food and some carrots. Once the boys were in bed, the elves began their work of putting the playhouse together (in my office!), putting the presents under the tree, etc. After that, Rob and I opened our presents from Mom and Frank. Then we went to bed.

Christmas morning Eric woke up at 5 a.m. asking for presents. I got him back to sleep, but Evan was up at 6:15! Everyone was up and ready to start Christmas at 7--except for Frank who was up in bed because he had come down with the horrible stomach bug in the middle of the night.

The boys absolutely loved Christmas. They took time opening each present and wanted to play with it before moving onto the next. It took about two hours to do presents--partly because of them, partly because so many toys required an engineering degree to assemble! Really, it was GREAT!

Mom and Frank left to head back to the W-B. Rob's Mom came over later on Wednesday to do gifts with us--more toys (and clothes) for the boys! We then had Christmas dinner here. It was a really, really nice Christmas.

Friday was a normal day for us--TSS, therapy, Rob had work, etc. Friday night I went to the mall to exchange a few things when Rob called and told me Evan had thrown up in the car--GREAT! I headed home, helped get Evan settled...and then got sick. Yep, I had it. We all get to sleep--finally, around 12 or so, then Eric woke up at 3...sick. What a fun freakin' night it was here, let me tell ya.

Saturday was kind of a lazy day--for obvious reasons--which stinks because the temperature here was almost 70!

The boys are much, much better. I'm still slowly getting there. I keep telling myself kids are more resilient, but maybe I'm just being a big baby. Rob had managed not to get sick--I don't know how since he had to take care of all three of us Friday night.

We made it through Christmas morning. That was all I wanted. I've posted a few photos below.

This is Eric in clothes from his Great-Grandma. He wore them all night and then asked for them first thing the following morning. He's too funny!

Just a really freakin' cute photo!

Eric the Rock Star...and Other Stuff

Eric grabbed his guitar tonight before bed and put on this little "show" for us. Too cute!

When I downloaded the video I saw that I did manage to grab a few photos from the Christmas shows.

Here is my little King...sitting with me, of course.

Here is Evan and his friend Alicia. The face he is making is his "I'm pretending to burp" face. There is a noise that goes along with it. Wow, someday he is really going to impress the ladies!

(Bilger's) Christmas Vacation

OK, so our weekend can't really rival this, but....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSHno5oZhpE

Friday afternoon--after the Christmas program mishaps (I take full responsibility for screwing them up)--things started to get worse.

I was in my office doing work, the boys were in the living room watching TV--very quietly. That should have been my first clue. A few minutes go by...all seems good. A few more...everything is fine. A few more...and Eric starts telling me "gum"--he had been chewing some gum. I yelled in for him to keep it in his mouth and not to play with it (he does that--don't all kids?). A few minutes again..."gum." So I go into see what's going on. He is pointing at the TV saying "gum." I look...he has smeared chewing gum all over the screen of the plasma TV. Yeah. Can't use any chemicals or cleaners. UGH. I got it off 40 minutes later with my finger nails, a microfiber cloth and a hell of a lot of luck. I still can't believe the TV wasn't ruined.

One major catastrophe fixed.

We woke up Saturday morning. Eric and Rob go downstairs, I'm still in bed. Evan comes in to lay with me and I hear the vacuum. I think, "what in the hell could have happened in the first two minutes of the house being awake?" Evan and I come downstairs...Rob is vacuuming up broken glass from the ornaments that broke when THE TREE FELL OVER. Yeah. The freakin' tree fell over. Water all over the carpet, ornaments everywhere, etc. Rob wouldn't let me take a picture. He said it's only funny when it happens to other people.

Second catastrophe fixed.

Saturday night we took the boys to go and see the lights again. We got about three miles away and stopped dead in traffic. Traffic for the lights. Apparently everyone within a 100-mile radius had the same idea. Two hours later we were able to see the entrance to the light display. Evan fell asleep and stayed asleep until Sunday morning. Eric sat patiently and occasionally would say "going to see the lights." It only took us about four hours to see the lights--it's usually an hour and a half at worst!

OK, not a catastrophe, but it was super annoying nonetheless!

Christmas Programs

Both of the boys had their Christmas programs last week at school. Eric's was on Wednesday. His 5-year-old class along with the 4-year-old class put on the nativity scene. Eric was chosen to be one of the three wise men. In rehearsals (including the one the morning of the program), Eric did great. He walked up the aisle, waited for his turn to take his present to Baby Jesus, etc. Participated in some of the singing. His teachers, therapists and the director were thoroughly impressed.

I went to the show Wednesday afternoon. He looked so cute all dressed up like a king. He walked past me down the aisle, saw me standing on the end of the pew filming him, stopped, turned around, said "hi mommy" and waved and then...came to sit with me. No singing, no present delivery, nothing! Poor Jesus only got two presents. Hopefully Eric wasn't carrying the gold. I mean, no one knows what frankincense and myrrh are anyway!

It was super funny (and cute--Eric independently said "hi mommy!), but once we left the church he seemed very upset that he didn't do his part. He kept asking for the "purple present" (the one he was supposed to take to the manger). When I showed it to him, he just kept saying purple present and looking back toward the church.

Lesson--Hide from kids at school programs.

Evan's recital was on Thursday afternoon. Again, his teachers, therapists and the director said he was doing awesome during all of the rehearsals. He sang along, did the song movements, shook jingle bells, wore angel wings and a halo (ahh, the irony in that one!). I learned my lesson from the day with Eric so I hid. I sat on the floor, behind a pew and waited for him to proceed down the aisle with his classmates. Then I crept into my seat and started filming. His first three songs, he did great. He was singing, doing the movements, etc. Then, he saw me. He sat through the next song completely mad at the world. When the song was over, he graciously clapped and then got up to come down to see me. When the teacher told him that it wasn't over yet and that he needed to sit back in his chair...the waterworks began. He cried through the next song and then I signaled for his teachers just to let him come and sit with me. No sense in ruining everyone else's videos with my kid screaming.

Lesson --Simply forgo the kids recitals and send someone in my place who can just videotape the entire thing for me.

I do have video of both of the boys, but it is on the actual video camera and I don't know how to transfer that to the computer. I don't really have any photos from the events because I was so busy trying to film them!

Not Much New, But Lots of Photos

Not much has happened around here in a few weeks--that is a GREAT thing. Thanksgiving was nice. The boys (mainly Evan--Eric's too shy) did Grace for the Thanksgiving meal--super cute.

Eric and Evan are starting to have conversations with each other. Granted it is usually an argument, but funny nonetheless. Eric will say "I want to watch Bee Movie please, Mommy." Evan will respond with "No, Eric. Watch Bee Movie tomorrow." Eric will ask again. Evan will say no again. Evan's mouth instigates Eric and Eric's brawn overpowers Evan. Inevitably it ends in a brawl...and Evan cries. I'd say pretty normal for two little boys!

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We made some gluten-free sugar cookies the other day. The boys had a good time baking and decorating the cookies. Eric's more of a chocolate kind of guy, so he went for the chocolate chip cookies I had made the day before. Evan likes anything sweet--or pretty much anything at all!

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I got a package from UPS today and the box was filled with packing peanuts. We pretended it was snow and were playing. Yeah, really should have thought the clean-up through on that one!

Evan can spell his name and has just started trying to write it. You can easily see the E and v from Evan and the i in Bilger. Not too bad.

Eric had a field trip today to the Depreciation Lands Museum. It sounded just as boring to me, but it was actually interesting. It is all original buildings from the late 17 and 1800's. A barn, house, one-room school, etc. Eric had a good time.

Good Stuff

Apparently, both of the boys had "awesome" days today again at school. Eric's day was perfect--listening, attending, doing a solid 15 minutes of arts and crafts with no problems. He was even the first one to answer a question during circle time. I know, maybe small potatoes, but good stuff around here!

Evan had a good day as well. Today was the first day his TSS was with him. It seems as though she didn't have much to say because, well, he doesn't need her. Hopefully, by the end of the school year she will be phased out.

We are doing "the lights" here tomorrow night. A large estate (now county park) has an amazing 3.5 mile drive-thru light display every Christmas that the boys just LOVE going to. We get them in their jammies, make some popcorn, stop at Starbuck's (for Rob and me, not the boys) and drive through the lights. We take the boys out of their carseats (we are driving all of 2 miles an hour) and they sit with us in the front seat and "drive" the car. We usually go about a half a dozen times throughout the holiday season.

On a totally unrelated note, here's a cute photo of Eric. He takes my wreath hanger off the shelf in my office and pretends it is a microphone. Too funny!

Little Victories

There is a song by Matt Nathanson called Little Victories. ILOVE the song for many reasons. Here is a link to the song on YouTube...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFjbqyAgGJQ

Anyway, the point is I usually try to focus on the good--no matter how little. Yesterday ended pretty awful. Eric had to go to the eye doctor for his check-up. They had to dilate his eyes--which if you have ever had it done, it burns and then you can't see right for a couple hours. I think it's kind of nauseating. Anyway, you wait in the waiting room, go back, label some pictures, and get drops. I had to hold him down for the drops after he did so nicely in the waiting room playing and working with the nurse on using each eye individually for the image labeling. We went back out to the waiting room for 20 minutes or so for the drops to take effect and again, Eric was great. He was playing, etc. Then, we had to go back into the room for the doctor (whom I'm not particularly fond of because, well, he kind of an arrogant ass). Yesterday, he actually seemed nicer than usual. Anyway, when Eric had to sit in my lap to have the doctor look into his eyes, all hell broke loose. He was kicking and screaming and I was holding him on my lap with my legs around his legs, my arms around his arms and my hand on his forehead to keep him still. Somewhere in there, I managed to help hold his eye open too! Anyway, when all was said and done the doctor turns to me and says "you're really good with him and I don't just mean the holding him down part." I suppose I could have taken this as a compliment but I almost erupted. I just kept thinking "wow, I can hold my son down and have him screaming bloody freaking murder and that makes me a good mom." What wonderful standards we must all have? I know he meant well and that Eric has to get his eyes checked. It was just an awful, awful moment. Followed by me carrying the nearly 50-pound child kicking and screaming down three flights of stairs and out to the car with no coat on in 25-degree weather. But I digress.

Focusing on the little, good things, right? Eric no longer need bifocals. The doctor seems to be thinking that his eyes are doing much better and we can drop the bifocal. His script is still fairly strong, but again, over time, hopefully that will weaken.

And today...ahh today! I asked one of Eric's speech therapists who also works on feeding issues to work on it with Eric. Though he eats a variety of textures in his food, he is quite picky. He hasn't eaten a vegetable since he was eating jars of baby food. He takes vitamins and supplements, so nutritionally, he is fine. Eric has needed a lot of sensory input around his mouth lately--asking for pretzels, starting to chew gum, etc. The therapist thought we should start with raw carrots and an apple. The first step is to have a child touch the food, then put the food to their cheek, then kiss the food, then put the food in their mouth, then bite the food and ultimately swallow the food. If you know anything about Eric, if you even put vegetables on the table at dinner, he freaks like he is afraid of them. Today, he got all the way to holding the carrot in his mouth--in less than a 30 minute session. I'm not saying I expect him to be asking me for raw carrots--even in 2009--but it is a major step in the right direction!

WONDERFUL Weekend

We had such an awesome weekend with the boys...and I needed it after Friday. Eric had his social skills group on Saturday morning. Last week taking him there was a complete disaster. I figured it was because Rob was there with me dropping him off and Daddy is fun and, well fun, and Eric doesn't have to do not-fun stuff with Daddy. (As a matter of fact, lately, when Eric gets in trouble with me he asks for Daddy--even when Rob isn't around. I'm trying to find the humor in that.) So today, I took him by myself and he went in no problems. I'm the mean one, making him do un-fun stuff and he's OK with that (and at times when he does things I know are good for him and he doesn't fight it, I'm ecstatic about being the not-fun one--the rest of the time it sucks!). Rob is uber lucky in that regard.

We hung out at the house the better part of Saturday afternoon doing regular weekend crap. Then we took the boys to the YMCA in Cranberry to go swimming. Eric LOVES the pool. Capital LOVE doesn't even begin to describe how much the kid loves the water. Evan didn't last too long so he and I went to run errands while Rob and Eric stayed and played. Then we hit DQ for dinner on the way home. The boys were just so awesomely well behaved. We should have passed on DQ and headed for a 5-star restaurant like Applebees :-)

Today, we went down to the Waterfront to see Madagascar 2. Eric has been to the movies before and has really enjoyed it. Evan has never been to the movies, so this was a new adventure for him and me (I don't think I have been to the movies since Castaway--yeah, 2000--I'm trying to set the Guinness Book of World Records for longest time not going to the movies!). The boys did OK. Eric lasted much longer than Evan--almost to the end of the movie.

Another week of work/therapy/life and then we have some time off for Thanksgiving. A much needed (and might I say well-deserved) break from the daily grind!

No News

I talked with the doctor today that ordered the lab work last week for Eric. They found nothing. No yeast overgrowth, no excess bad bacteria, etc. I have to admit, I'm really disappointed. I don't want there to be something wrong necessarily, but with no news, there is nothing new to address. So I'm frustrated because we not only had to pay out of pocket for these tests, but I had to dig through his poop. I know, too much information.

This was one of the two avenues that, if they found something, we could address it with supplements or possible medication and it could make a world of difference. So between him not tolerating his first two vitamins (high levels of vitamin B--usually helps kids on the spectrum) and this, right now we are at a stand still with nothing to new to do.

The upside is that Eric is tolerating this third vitamin. We haven't started the vitamin C yet because we want to be sure that he can stand this multi-vitamin before introducing something else.

In the meantime, we will continue to do what we are doing until we go back in May.

Petition

We participate in the autism walk for both of the boys, but there was a day when we did the March of Dimes walk for prematurity...for both of the boys. We haven't forgotten about them--or the hell Evan went through.

According to the March of Dimes, the US received a "D" on our premature birth report card. Pretty scary. Sign the petition for awareness, more funding, better care and, most importantly, prevention.

http://www.marchofdimes.com/padpetition/index.aspx?a=1&z=1&c=1&l=en

Money, Money, Money

We participated in the Autism Walk sponsored by Autism Speaks on October 4 in Baltimore. Today, we recieved a letter from MSA (Rob's employer) that they have mailed a $1,000 check to Autism Speaks on our behalf towards our fundraising efforts. We raised $2,035. Our goal was $850. Thank you to everyone who participated. Our team, Pieces of H.O.P.E, (put together by my sister, Kelly) raised $3,335! The teams goal was $1,500. I'm so excited that everyone came together and helped raise all this money. It means the world to my family and all the families out there that benefit from the contributions to Autism Speaks.

Christmas Is Early

Halloween is over and Thanksgiving is just around the corner so it only makes sense that the boys start watching The Polar Express--sense the sarcasm here, it's barely November. At any rate, they are both LOVING the one song from the movie and Evan has started singing along. After about a minute, he stops, but I hope you can hear him!

Going Well (Fingers Crossed)

The boys are doing really well this week. I got a phone message yesterday from their BSC while they were at school relaying that they were both having a "phenomenal day." Eric was listening, talking and interacting with his classmates more than anyone had seen before. He needed a break at one point and went out into the great room in the church and requested that he sit and listen to the two people practicing violins. He played catch with his weighted dog (calming effect) with some of his classmates. He answered questions spontaneously, etc.

Evan proved, once again, that he simply does not need assistance in school, though his teacher said it was just a really good day for him. He was doing his work, playing with Jake and Jonah (his friends) and listening.

All of this was after we all went to get our flu shots and they were both total troopers. No tears about the shots at all. Evan cried afterward because I would only let him have one lollipop--shocking!

Rob said I should save the phone message from the BSC for those "not so good" days. Done!

Tomorrow it's off to the dentist in the a.m. before school. Maybe I just need to schedule some not-so-fun events before and it will make school look like a trip to an amusement park!

Dr. Appointment

We went to our Dr. appointment today. Not much news on Evan. He is doing so well--talking more, socializing more, whining less, etc.--there really isn't anything to change at this point. Eric will have a few things change. We are going to try yet another multi-vitamin--third times the charm, right? A vitamin C supplement. Up his Omega-3 supplement. And screen his poop. Yeah, I won't get into the details on that one, but I'm SOOOO looking forward to that. It's to check his digestion to be sure that the pro-biotic he is on is strong enough for what we/he is dealing with.

Not anything too exciting. We don't go back again until May 7, 2009, so I'm hoping to see some changes with the new vitamins and the results from the lab test. Only time will tell!

Happy Halloween!

We took the boys trick or treating tonight. What a GREAT night! Seriously, probably one of the most normal experiences Rob and I have had as parents. They were both totally psyched to go and get candy. They walked up to the houses by themselves, rang the doorbells, said "Happy Halloween" or "Treat" and "Thank You." It was really incredible. Rob and I got to stand down by the street and watch them like "normal" parents do. Below are a couple of photos of Dr. Bilger and Eric the Mailman!

Starting A Blog

A friend of mine started a blog so that everyone could follow the adoption of her daughter. What a great idea, right? I thought I would do the same with everything that goes on with the boys. I tell the same stories over and over and over again. It just seems more practical to post to something like this so that when I do talk to everyone we can focus on things other than the ins and outs of our daily lives.

We are heading to our "special" doctor on Monday afternoon. I'm hoping that we are given something new to try with Eric. Evan is doing awesome--talking, interacting, etc. He is still behind typical kids his age, but catching up quickly. Eric, not so much. He seemed to be doing great back in August when we started with the zinc, multi-vitamin, pro-biotic and fish oil. Now, nothing seems to be different. Like we took three steps forward in August and four steps back since.

It's hard to admit or fully realize that Evan is surpassing Eric. Evan is talking more, understanding more, doing more than Eric--and they are 21 months apart. Though I'm thrilled that Evan is making strides, it is hard to see my older one falling behind his little brother.

More on Monday after the Dr. appointment.

For those of you who I didn't send the following story to, this is why the blog is called "Welcome to Holland."

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.