I had a meeting two weeks ago with the school psychologist regarding all of the testing that Eric has done for entrance into Kindergarten. We went over all of the results and, like all evaluation-type meetings, it was nearly two hours of the things that are wrong with my child.
At the end of the meeting, I asked what their recommendation would be for next school year--our home school or the elementary school that is farther away that has the autism classroom. They recommended the autism classroom. And I started to cry. Not because I felt like they were ganging up on me or that they were trying to put Eric somewhere he doesn't belong, but because the truth hurts and he does belong there. I want to believe that Eric is perfect. That I will wake up one day and this will all have gone away, the truth is this is my life. Our life.
After discussing why this is what they recommended--he needs more one-to-one support, the learning support classroom in our home school is quite the revolving door and has A LOT going on at any given point during the day and Eric would get lost, that in the autism classroom he would still have the opportunity to interact with regular peers because the district is big on inclusion (plus, it's the law), etc. They made valid point after valid point and I simply could not argue. When it's just one person and Eric he is usually on--looking at you, answering questions, sharing the knowledge that he has, interacting and being playful. When you add more than that (unless it's just the four of us in our immediate family), Eric gets lost. He sucks on his finger and does his own thing. It's hard to interact with him. It's hard for him to focus. This classroom would give him the environment that he needs. Not to mention that the teacher strongly believes in applied behavior analysis (what we do all the time), but because she has over 20 years of experience with kids on the spectrum.
When Rob and I finally sat down to discuss everything that night, we were both beaten and shaken by it. Little by little these kinds of things chip away at the dream we have for Eric. Rob made the most valid point. The last two years Eric has been in a typical preschool with a TSS. Last year he had an awesome TSS and a horrible teacher. This year he has a great teacher and a terrible TSS. What we have been doing simply isn't working and now is the time to take another avenue.
Long story short, and after running away to Baltimore for a few days just to get away from here, I called the school psychologist and told her that we were choosing the autism classroom and that we could go ahead and schedule the IEP meeting--no need to meet with both principals and teachers to further discuss his placement.
After all the anguish over all of this, I am finally feel a small sense of relief. It's the not-knowing that always drives me insane.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Another Month Has Passed
I started this blog to keep everyone up-to-date on the kids, Rob and I, etc. and as it turns out, I'm not that good at updating it!
The last month has been busy--and trying.
Evan had his fourth birthday--I simply cannot believe my youngest child is already four! It seems impossible. Pictures flash across my computer screen saver of him in the hospital and I'm in awe of how far he has come in four short years and reminded of how truly blessed we are. His life, and ours, could have turned out very, very different.
Last weekend we went to the zoo for Evan's birthday. The boys LOVED it. We are there fairly regularly, but this was a particularly great day. The weather was perfect. Most of the animals were out and awake. The boys walked and rested without complaint. We let Evan pick out a gift for his birthday in the gift shop. He didn't choose a cute stuffed animal or safari backpack, but two pencils and a lollipop. Can't complain, the kids a cheap date! That evening we had a little family party here for him and afterward he decided that he was going to sleep over his cousins' house. It broke my heart that he so readily wanted to leave me for the night, but he had a great time (he even slept on the floor in a sleeping bag) and I know it's really good for him to be around them as much as possible. They had a little celebration at school too where I got to read a favorite book of Evan's to the class (these days, "Chicka Chicka 123") and have a birthday treat (another favorite--yogurt and M&Ms). I think he enjoyed the several days of "all eyes on Evan."
Evan also had his spring concert. And after he wouldn't perform in front of me at the Christmas show, I didn't go. I watched most of a practice and caught the tail end of the live performance. He did great. Stayed on stage, sang and even pretended to play guitar. Eric's concert is later this month. I won't be attending that one either. Thank God other people have volunteered to video tape it for me.
I went last week to see one of the two classrooms that Eric could be in next year. The autism classroom at a neighboring elementary school was impressive to say the least--no florescent lights, ,multiple ceiling fans (the hum and air movement calms children with ASD), trampolines in the room, etc. The walls were fairly bare so the kids couldn't stim or be distracted by posters or signs. The desks were set up like mini office cubes with nothing on the walls, but a quiet place for the kids to do their work. The school even has a sensory room (I learned that day that all the schools in our district do) that looks like an OT or PT room complete with exercise balls and bands, therapy swings, gym mats--you name it, they have it! Though I was impressed by the school, I'm hoping Eric doesn't have to go there. There are only 2.5 kids (two full-time, one kindergarten) in the autism classroom district wide (for grades K-3). I know one of the children cannot speak and uses a computer and from what the principal told me it's more of a life skills classroom, i.e. still potty training, etc. Though I know Eric would love the classroom, he needs good peer models. I'm sure I sound like a snob saying I don't want him in the classroom, but I really want him to be pushed and to have good examples to follow. Don't get me wrong, I know he's not necessarily a shining example and that there are parents who may not want their children around him. I’m not blind.
I still have to go and see the learning support room in our elementary school before Eric's IEP meeting. I'll let you know how that goes.
Through both of the kids physical activities programs, they got to go horseback riding (therapeutic) not once, but twice this past week. I was a bit nervous about it. Would they wear the helmets, would they even get on? Turns out, they love it. Both put on their helmets, no problem. Eric walked right up to the horse, climbed the stairs to get into the saddle and off he went. Evan was a bit more hesitant, but once he was up on the horse, he was loving it. Eric was so quiet the whole time. No verbal stimming, no movement, he was just so peaceful. And then, on the way home, aside from requesting songs on the iPod, he didn't say (or stim) a word. It was really impressive. We will definitely make riding a fairly regular occurrence. The kids love to swim and ride horses--boys after my own heart!
Part of the reason I haven't written much over the last month is because it's been really rough around here. Eric has been pretty out of control--hyper, hitting his TSS at school, testing us here at home, perseverating on anything and everything. It's just been miserable. I want to use this blog to inform, not complain, but sometimes I think I paint too rosey a picture of a day in the life of me.
Looking at my boys, I'm reminded each day that, as parents, we want what is best for our children. We want them to succeed and be happy and good. But I question the motive for that. Do we want it because of them or because of us? Because how they are, what they are, who they turn into, is a direct reflection of what we do (or don't do). I question myself every day, numerous times a day, if I'm doing the right thing by my kids. I know what I have to do to help them, but what is my motivation?
The last month has been busy--and trying.
Evan had his fourth birthday--I simply cannot believe my youngest child is already four! It seems impossible. Pictures flash across my computer screen saver of him in the hospital and I'm in awe of how far he has come in four short years and reminded of how truly blessed we are. His life, and ours, could have turned out very, very different.
Last weekend we went to the zoo for Evan's birthday. The boys LOVED it. We are there fairly regularly, but this was a particularly great day. The weather was perfect. Most of the animals were out and awake. The boys walked and rested without complaint. We let Evan pick out a gift for his birthday in the gift shop. He didn't choose a cute stuffed animal or safari backpack, but two pencils and a lollipop. Can't complain, the kids a cheap date! That evening we had a little family party here for him and afterward he decided that he was going to sleep over his cousins' house. It broke my heart that he so readily wanted to leave me for the night, but he had a great time (he even slept on the floor in a sleeping bag) and I know it's really good for him to be around them as much as possible. They had a little celebration at school too where I got to read a favorite book of Evan's to the class (these days, "Chicka Chicka 123") and have a birthday treat (another favorite--yogurt and M&Ms). I think he enjoyed the several days of "all eyes on Evan."
Evan also had his spring concert. And after he wouldn't perform in front of me at the Christmas show, I didn't go. I watched most of a practice and caught the tail end of the live performance. He did great. Stayed on stage, sang and even pretended to play guitar. Eric's concert is later this month. I won't be attending that one either. Thank God other people have volunteered to video tape it for me. I went last week to see one of the two classrooms that Eric could be in next year. The autism classroom at a neighboring elementary school was impressive to say the least--no florescent lights, ,multiple ceiling fans (the hum and air movement calms children with ASD), trampolines in the room, etc. The walls were fairly bare so the kids couldn't stim or be distracted by posters or signs. The desks were set up like mini office cubes with nothing on the walls, but a quiet place for the kids to do their work. The school even has a sensory room (I learned that day that all the schools in our district do) that looks like an OT or PT room complete with exercise balls and bands, therapy swings, gym mats--you name it, they have it! Though I was impressed by the school, I'm hoping Eric doesn't have to go there. There are only 2.5 kids (two full-time, one kindergarten) in the autism classroom district wide (for grades K-3). I know one of the children cannot speak and uses a computer and from what the principal told me it's more of a life skills classroom, i.e. still potty training, etc. Though I know Eric would love the classroom, he needs good peer models. I'm sure I sound like a snob saying I don't want him in the classroom, but I really want him to be pushed and to have good examples to follow. Don't get me wrong, I know he's not necessarily a shining example and that there are parents who may not want their children around him. I’m not blind.
I still have to go and see the learning support room in our elementary school before Eric's IEP meeting. I'll let you know how that goes.
Through both of the kids physical activities programs, they got to go horseback riding (therapeutic) not once, but twice this past week. I was a bit nervous about it. Would they wear the helmets, would they even get on? Turns out, they love it. Both put on their helmets, no problem. Eric walked right up to the horse, climbed the stairs to get into the saddle and off he went. Evan was a bit more hesitant, but once he was up on the horse, he was loving it. Eric was so quiet the whole time. No verbal stimming, no movement, he was just so peaceful. And then, on the way home, aside from requesting songs on the iPod, he didn't say (or stim) a word. It was really impressive. We will definitely make riding a fairly regular occurrence. The kids love to swim and ride horses--boys after my own heart!
Part of the reason I haven't written much over the last month is because it's been really rough around here. Eric has been pretty out of control--hyper, hitting his TSS at school, testing us here at home, perseverating on anything and everything. It's just been miserable. I want to use this blog to inform, not complain, but sometimes I think I paint too rosey a picture of a day in the life of me.Looking at my boys, I'm reminded each day that, as parents, we want what is best for our children. We want them to succeed and be happy and good. But I question the motive for that. Do we want it because of them or because of us? Because how they are, what they are, who they turn into, is a direct reflection of what we do (or don't do). I question myself every day, numerous times a day, if I'm doing the right thing by my kids. I know what I have to do to help them, but what is my motivation?
Lately, our lives are so hectic. Our schedule of activities and therapies and life has gotten so out of control that the little things that I used to enjoy are becoming strenuous and labor-laden. With the boys on break this week and us playing hookie and heading to Baltimore for a few days, I'm hoping it's just what we need to gain a fresh outlook and start reveling in the small joys that I've recently been overlooking.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Ahhh, Spring!
It's not really here, but today sure felt like it. The sun was shining, birds were singing...not really, but it paints a nicer picture! Thursday is our easy day--the boys get to hang out at the house all morning in their jammies--no therapy to go to, no therapists coming in. Then, they have school. After school yesterday we went and got ice cream. I have serious spring fever. I can't stand winter any longer!
Once we got home from school and the ice cream shop, we played in the backyard. I'm didn't think I would ever get Eric back in the house. Evan was even running around in bare feet--we are all so desperate for warmer temperatures!
Here are some photos yesterday afternoon--only the grass tells you it is still winter!
Our school district has starting coming to Eric's preschool to observe him. Today, they started testing. My poor little boy. He had TSS from 9-10:30, speech from 10:30-11 and OT from 11-11:45. Then, he had school at 12:30 where they tested him for over 2 hours--and they still aren't done! It's not typical kindergarten testing, i.e. what is this shape, what letter is this, etc., it IQ tests, etc. to determine his placement in school--mainstream, special ed or autism support--or some variation thereof. We will have to have his IEP meeting before May 15, so I will know then where they feel he should be. I'm calling on Monday to set up an appointment with the special education department so that I can go and observe both a special ed classroom and the autism classroom. I have no frame of reference as the face of special ed has changed dramatically (for the better) since I was in school. The special ed classroom will be in our home school (the school all the kids in the neighborhood go to). The autism classroom is at another elementary school in the district, a bit further away. I'm not worrying so much about it. First, I know it doesn't do any good for anybody, especially Eric. Secondly, whatever happens, happens. Everything works out in the end the way it is supposed to be. I just need to loosen my grip a bit on the reigns--sounds a lot easier than it is!
We are all--except Rob of course--getting over this annoying head cold that is going around. Evan's had it for 10 days now. Eric didn't get it too bad and I simply cannot smell anything!
Other than that, life is fairly normal. Have I mentioned I’m married to the most wonderful guy in the world? He came home tonight and gave me a card with a gift certificate for an hour long facial and hot stone massage for next weekend just because I’m a good mama. Not too bad, huh? Made my week! I simply cannot wait for next Saturday.
Once we got home from school and the ice cream shop, we played in the backyard. I'm didn't think I would ever get Eric back in the house. Evan was even running around in bare feet--we are all so desperate for warmer temperatures!
Here are some photos yesterday afternoon--only the grass tells you it is still winter!
Our school district has starting coming to Eric's preschool to observe him. Today, they started testing. My poor little boy. He had TSS from 9-10:30, speech from 10:30-11 and OT from 11-11:45. Then, he had school at 12:30 where they tested him for over 2 hours--and they still aren't done! It's not typical kindergarten testing, i.e. what is this shape, what letter is this, etc., it IQ tests, etc. to determine his placement in school--mainstream, special ed or autism support--or some variation thereof. We will have to have his IEP meeting before May 15, so I will know then where they feel he should be. I'm calling on Monday to set up an appointment with the special education department so that I can go and observe both a special ed classroom and the autism classroom. I have no frame of reference as the face of special ed has changed dramatically (for the better) since I was in school. The special ed classroom will be in our home school (the school all the kids in the neighborhood go to). The autism classroom is at another elementary school in the district, a bit further away. I'm not worrying so much about it. First, I know it doesn't do any good for anybody, especially Eric. Secondly, whatever happens, happens. Everything works out in the end the way it is supposed to be. I just need to loosen my grip a bit on the reigns--sounds a lot easier than it is!We are all--except Rob of course--getting over this annoying head cold that is going around. Evan's had it for 10 days now. Eric didn't get it too bad and I simply cannot smell anything!
Other than that, life is fairly normal. Have I mentioned I’m married to the most wonderful guy in the world? He came home tonight and gave me a card with a gift certificate for an hour long facial and hot stone massage for next weekend just because I’m a good mama. Not too bad, huh? Made my week! I simply cannot wait for next Saturday.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
So Much To Say...
This week has been a crazy one between our regular schedule and then ALL of the other stuff that we have added.
The boys started their gym program at Slippery Rock University on Wednesday. There were probably about 30 kids there, all their parents and then about 60 students. It was quite chaotic, but the boys did OK. Eric went in great, wanted to play with the parachute (was the only one playing with the parachute and about 15 college students). He was having a ball. Then, once the gym started to fill up, he kind of shut down and was having a hard time focusing...though, for once, that isn't necessarily the objective. It's to get up and get moving and to give these kids a chance to have fun. Plus, out by the water fountain, you could see the pool. Eric LOVES the water, so that was a distraction, too. Evan was way more hesitant, but once he got over his initial fears, he was right in there with all the other kids having a blast.
Last night Rob took Eric to his other gym-type class. They got to go swimming at one of the local YMCAs. Rob didn't even have to get in the water. Eric took to his "mentor"--again, a student from SRU. He had a ton of fun. Next week they are going to My Gym--kind of like gymnastics meets Gymboree. And we found out last night that for a few extra dollars, we can take Evan each week, too. It's a little later on Thursday nights than I would like (Fridays are one of our busiest days), but I'm sure they will both have a blast.
I had a meeting at school for Eric on Wednesday with his teacher, the center director, a developmentalist and his BSC just to talk about how things are going, what everyone can be doing to help him, etc. It's always fun to sit for an hour and listen to what your child does wrong--or at least not exactly right. I don't mean to sound super negative because the group really is there to help him and they all adore him, but it's still annoying nonetheless. His TSS in school right now is terrible. She just isn't into it or him and it shows. He usually has bad days with her. She doesn't know how to deal with him or help him. She is forever doing the opposite of what he is used to or needs. In all, she bothers me and Eric just really doesn't like her...which I'm well aware doesn't help the situation.
Evan got his first report card on Thursday. I had a parent-teacher conference and his teachers couldn't be more pleased, calling him the "success story" of the year. He is doing really well, talking more, making friends, sharing, etc. His report card consists of 15 criteria ranging from separating from parents and sharing to making friends and scissoring. The "grades" are V for Very Good, G for Good, I for Improvement Shown and N for Needs Improvement. Evan got (drum roll please....) 14 Vs! He got a G in scissoring. I was thrilled to say the least.
It's all so bittersweet. I am so very, very, very proud of Evan. This is where Rob and I knew he would get being around typical kids, etc. It's just hard because for all my joy and excitement over Evan (and feeling like a normal parent some of the time), I'm still grieving about Eric. You would think after three plus years that would go away, but it simply hasn't. The way Evan has progressed in the last nine months is how I envisioned Eric changing and growing over the last three years. And I know he has come very, very far, his growth is just much slower and less obvious. I know that I cannot give up hope on Eric, for many reasons, but sometimes I wonder if hope and blind faith is just really selfish stupidity.
On a happier note, we finally joined the gym. The boys will now have a pool year-round, which will be wonderful for them. And Rob and I can finally get back into shape--after the years that we have had off. Not that we have been busy or anything.
The boys started their gym program at Slippery Rock University on Wednesday. There were probably about 30 kids there, all their parents and then about 60 students. It was quite chaotic, but the boys did OK. Eric went in great, wanted to play with the parachute (was the only one playing with the parachute and about 15 college students). He was having a ball. Then, once the gym started to fill up, he kind of shut down and was having a hard time focusing...though, for once, that isn't necessarily the objective. It's to get up and get moving and to give these kids a chance to have fun. Plus, out by the water fountain, you could see the pool. Eric LOVES the water, so that was a distraction, too. Evan was way more hesitant, but once he got over his initial fears, he was right in there with all the other kids having a blast.
Last night Rob took Eric to his other gym-type class. They got to go swimming at one of the local YMCAs. Rob didn't even have to get in the water. Eric took to his "mentor"--again, a student from SRU. He had a ton of fun. Next week they are going to My Gym--kind of like gymnastics meets Gymboree. And we found out last night that for a few extra dollars, we can take Evan each week, too. It's a little later on Thursday nights than I would like (Fridays are one of our busiest days), but I'm sure they will both have a blast.
I had a meeting at school for Eric on Wednesday with his teacher, the center director, a developmentalist and his BSC just to talk about how things are going, what everyone can be doing to help him, etc. It's always fun to sit for an hour and listen to what your child does wrong--or at least not exactly right. I don't mean to sound super negative because the group really is there to help him and they all adore him, but it's still annoying nonetheless. His TSS in school right now is terrible. She just isn't into it or him and it shows. He usually has bad days with her. She doesn't know how to deal with him or help him. She is forever doing the opposite of what he is used to or needs. In all, she bothers me and Eric just really doesn't like her...which I'm well aware doesn't help the situation.
Evan got his first report card on Thursday. I had a parent-teacher conference and his teachers couldn't be more pleased, calling him the "success story" of the year. He is doing really well, talking more, making friends, sharing, etc. His report card consists of 15 criteria ranging from separating from parents and sharing to making friends and scissoring. The "grades" are V for Very Good, G for Good, I for Improvement Shown and N for Needs Improvement. Evan got (drum roll please....) 14 Vs! He got a G in scissoring. I was thrilled to say the least.
It's all so bittersweet. I am so very, very, very proud of Evan. This is where Rob and I knew he would get being around typical kids, etc. It's just hard because for all my joy and excitement over Evan (and feeling like a normal parent some of the time), I'm still grieving about Eric. You would think after three plus years that would go away, but it simply hasn't. The way Evan has progressed in the last nine months is how I envisioned Eric changing and growing over the last three years. And I know he has come very, very far, his growth is just much slower and less obvious. I know that I cannot give up hope on Eric, for many reasons, but sometimes I wonder if hope and blind faith is just really selfish stupidity.
On a happier note, we finally joined the gym. The boys will now have a pool year-round, which will be wonderful for them. And Rob and I can finally get back into shape--after the years that we have had off. Not that we have been busy or anything.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Just Bouncing Around
So this is what we have been doing at night. The boys will go in the bounce house for 2+ hours and just play, wrestle, run around, etc. Evan isn't barking orders at Eric as much as he usually is on the video. I guess he was just a bit camera shy. They jump, get a drink, wrestle, get another drink. It's awesome. They burn off some serious energy and I get stuff done. Win-Win!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Toothless!
Eric has lost not one, but two of his bottom front teeth! They have been loose for some time now, but one fell out at school on Friday and the other yesterday morning. He got $5 from the tooth fairy. When Rob showed the money to him, he picked it up, looked at it and then threw it on the ground. So much for that. So, since he isn't interested in the cash, we took him to get some small toys yesterday. Per my mom's suggestion, I picked up a few extras in case he loses more teeth. He will get toys under his pillow, not money. The photo is kind of dark, but you can see the gap on the bottom.
I started this blog because everything is always so hectic and it seems like the best way to keep in touch, but life has been pretty uneventful lately--not that I am complaining. We are crazy, crazy, crazy busy, but pretty quiet all at the same time.
The boys are both doing well in school. Eric starts with a new TSS today at home for some additional hours. I have a meeting in two weeks about his transition to Kindergarten. The next few months should be quite interesting with all of that.
Evan is Evan...he's quite sassy these days. The more he talks, the more attitude he has. It's pretty amusing most times.
I got the boys into an activity program at Slippery Rock University. It starts next week. For one hour, once a week for 10 weeks the boys are each paired with a buddy--a student from SRU that is majoring in exercise science or early childhood development, etc. They will go horseback riding, rock climbing, swimming, etc. Eric also is starting an hour-long gym class once a week at one of the local YMCAs. Rob has also signed him up for a special-needs baseball league that starts in May. We are hoping to get Evan into soccer later this spring. Chasing a group of kids chasing a ball--totally up Evan's alley. Our resolution this year was to be more active as a family. And the boys really need it this time of year. It's too cold, wet and gross outside to do much of anything.
Here are the boys and Rob sledding in the back yard. Benny was forever in the way.
This is just the biscuits snuggling on the couch.
I started this blog because everything is always so hectic and it seems like the best way to keep in touch, but life has been pretty uneventful lately--not that I am complaining. We are crazy, crazy, crazy busy, but pretty quiet all at the same time.My Dad and Lauren came to visit last weekend--just in time to have the family from Baltimore to Pittsburgh to watch Pittsburgh win and go to the Super Bowl. My Dad and Rob were both very well behaved. Needless to say, the boys got to do Christmas...again. This is a picture of the boys and Mom Mom playing with shaving cream!
The boys are both doing well in school. Eric starts with a new TSS today at home for some additional hours. I have a meeting in two weeks about his transition to Kindergarten. The next few months should be quite interesting with all of that.Evan is Evan...he's quite sassy these days. The more he talks, the more attitude he has. It's pretty amusing most times.
I got the boys into an activity program at Slippery Rock University. It starts next week. For one hour, once a week for 10 weeks the boys are each paired with a buddy--a student from SRU that is majoring in exercise science or early childhood development, etc. They will go horseback riding, rock climbing, swimming, etc. Eric also is starting an hour-long gym class once a week at one of the local YMCAs. Rob has also signed him up for a special-needs baseball league that starts in May. We are hoping to get Evan into soccer later this spring. Chasing a group of kids chasing a ball--totally up Evan's alley. Our resolution this year was to be more active as a family. And the boys really need it this time of year. It's too cold, wet and gross outside to do much of anything.
Here are the boys and Rob sledding in the back yard. Benny was forever in the way.
This is just the biscuits snuggling on the couch.
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