2010

I cannot believe the holidays are over. Though quite uneventful and quiet this year, they still managed to zoom past. Last year we had calamity after catastrophe, but this year was different. Slower. I said anticlimactic, but in hindsight, it was quite enjoyable.

I didn't get to see as many or as much of my family and friends as I would have liked, but hopefully more in the New Year. We did dinner with Rob's family both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. My Dad and Lauren came up last weekend to see the boys and do Christmas with them. New Years was just our foursome. Rob and I made a good dinner. The boys got to do some sparklers outside in their jammies and bang pots and pans at midnight (8 p.m.--it was midnight somewhere!).

The boys start back to their regular routine on Monday (sigh), so we wanted to get a few extra fun things in these past few days. We went swimming, played in the snow multiple times, visited the Science Center, went out to eat a few times, drove through the Christmas lights one last time, went bowling and have had plenty of time to play with new toys.

It's funny how it might just seem typical to most that we did these things, but it's a slow process building up the courage (or understanding there might be a significant let down) prior to venturing into unchartered territory. This week, there were little blessings in each new thing we did. Both boys were very willing to participate in swimming--kicking with a kickboard, blowing bubbles, etc.--more so than ever before. The first time we went to the Science Center a few months ago, Eric just wanted to stay in the train room the entire time and Evan was kinda all over the place. We were only there about an hour or so. When we visited the other day, we not only stayed for over two hours, but both of the boys wore their wristbands (you know the kind like at amusement parks that tell the workers you paid to be there). They have never worn wristbands for any reason. They both usually hate them. Though Eric probably would have been content with just the train room, he ventured out and up to the water play area where he managed to take his fingers out of his ears so that he could have fun splashing and playing with boats and balls. And Evan, my little princess who refuses to get his shoes wet (unless it is his snow boots, in which case he doesn’t care), literally jumped right in, water smock and all, and played. It was really nice to see the two of them enjoying themselves and putting their little hang-ups aside only to realize that they could have a great time! When we went bowling, Evan, who HATES new shoes, put on his bowling shoes happily. And even though it was dark with a black light and there were videos and music playing everywhere, and light displays on the walls (like opening the sensory floodgate) Eric was fine. He held his ears most of the time, but went in the building just fine and participated with the family in bowling. I know it seems small, but great, little things keep happening like this. I hope it continues through 2010.

"The great lesson...is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one's daily life, in one's neighbors, friends, and family, in one's back yard." ~ Abraham Maslow

Here are a bunch of photos from the last few weeks in no particular order.

Playing in the snow. Look at my ridiculous dog!

Eric enjoying a glass of fine, Mott's apple juice.

Mom Mom and Pop Pop watching the boys open their presents.

Evan getting a Wii game--I don't think he has stopped playing it for any

significant length of time. He's going to be sad when Christmas vacation is over!

Eric opening presents. He puts his whole body into it!

Santa arrived.


Santa broke down in front of our house and had to call another truck to come and give him a jump.

Evan helping (or more likely hindering) Rob shoveling.

Evan at his Christmas program.

Happy New Year! (I don't know what's funnier, the kids outside in their jammies with snow on the ground or Rob tilting the camera at the end just as I'm about to yell at the dog for trying to eat the sparklers!)

I hope everyone has an amazing 2010--health, happiness and time for the things that truly matter--family and friends.

We are almost there. Tree up...check. Gifts bought....almost check. Cookies made....check. Bedroom painted....check. Yeah, we are that ridiculous. What normal human being, in their right mind, does a home improvement project during the week of Christmas? And not even on a room anyone ever really sees! Rob and I need our heads checked. Seriously.

I'm almost hesitant to blog about how well things have been going here. Evan is done with school until January. He had his Christmas program on Friday. I went, he saw me and he stayed on the altar! A lot better than last year. Except that he had a wardrobe malfunction that left him looking at his unbuttoned pants and grabbing himself for a good 90 seconds before one of the teachers rushed in to help him out. HILARIOUS! Ahhh, memories. Someday, when he is 16, I will show the girl that he likes the video and mortify him. Is that mean?

Eric has been doing awesome. I can't even begin to write about how great he is doing. In the last month, we went to see our "special doctor" and they started him on sublingual B-12--something I have been asking for from day one. We thought it would make him crazy, but it hasn't. He's been doing really well on it. So well, we were able to up his dose. B12 can help some kids on the spectrum with speaking delays. Only time will tell.

This is a portion of an email I sent to the woman that conducted Eric's sensory therapy (light/sound) back in August.

Last March Eric was unbearable. I love my boys to the deepest part of my core, but it was definitely one of the roughest patches that we have weathered. He was out there. Noncompliant. Difficult. Crazy. Sensory-overloaded. He was hitting. Crying. An emotional mess. Usually we can pinpoint a rhyme or reason, but we couldn't. There are always catalysts, but this was different. It was really just awful.

Since we did the therapy in August, he has changed. Initially, things got worse, but nowhere near last March. I'm a reasonable person and know that with Eric things aren't easy. There's no magic bullet. No simple pill that will make everything semi-normal. I had four goals for the therapy--he stop hitting, he stop holding his ears so much in loud, uncomfortable places, he stop sucking his finger and he just feel better about who he is. My goal was Christmas. I said by December we should start to see the fruits of our labor...and we have! He hasn't hit anyone in I don't know how long. He holds his ears on occasion, but can easily be redirected. We were in the grocery store and out to dinner this weekend and it dawned on me, that he wasn't holding his ears! He did quit sucking his finger for about a month, but it's back. But, that is a typical behavior. Something A LOT of parents have to deal with. I'm good with that. Normal, everyday parenting issues are a blessing to me.

He is calmer. He uses his trampoline more. He makes better eye contact. He is MUCH easier redirected when wanting something. He seems to understand more. Better receptive language.

I wouldn't change the core of who Eric is. He is the most lovable, wonderful, sweet, gentle giant anyone could ever hope to meet. He can't tell me, but he can show me that he is more comfortable. He doesn't seem like he wants to crawl out of his skin most every day. He seems content with where he is at any given moment.

If he got nothing else from the therapy, nothing that I could see or quantify, I wanted him to be more comfortable. More able to handle the everyday sensory stressors of life. And he is. He's doing it beautifully and with grace.

Eric has always been a delight, even in the darkest moments, but now he delights in his abilities like everyone around him.

That is truly the best Christmas gift I could have gotten. My son is understanding more. Interacting more. We still have a long road and steep climb ahead, but we are slowly getting there.

This year has been amazing. I would be remiss if I didn't say that I'm a little reluctant to head into 2010. I feel like the universe has paid us back ten-fold some of the obstacles that we have all faced and I'm afraid that it is our turn to pay again. Here's hoping I am wrong and that the next year holds even more wonderful, unimaginable miracles.

H1N1

Yeah, we had it...and what a miserable experience it was. We came out of it (well, we still feel a little gross) fairly unscathed, but it was interesting.

Evan got sick two Wednesdays ago. All of a sudden. He was fine and playing and the next minute his eyes were sunken and he had a fever. We put him to bed and he woke up at 2:30 with a fever of 104.9. Neither of the boys have ever had a fever that high and I panicked. I panic particularly with Evan in situations like this. Aside from him being my "baby," I cannot stomach the idea of him ever being in a hospital again. The mere thought of a simple IV sends me into a tizzy. I took him to the ER where they gave him Tylenol and told us he most likely had H1N1. Keep an eye on him, keep him comfortable and, after about a week, he should be just fine.

I spent that night on Evan's floor because I was terrified that he would have a febrile seizure. I set my phone to wake me up at 3:30 to take his temp and give him Motrin. Eric had had a slight fever going to bed that evening, so I thought I would check the "easy" one first before waking Evan up. When I checked Eric, he had a fever of 105.6. Rob and I got him out of bed, got him into the bath, gave him medicine and waited for his fever to come down. I didn't rush him to the ER because, well, they did nothing for Evan that I couldn't have done. Eric's temp finally came down to a cool 103 by about 5:30 so we all went back to bed. Evan had a slight temp, took medicine and went right back to bed.

The weekend was miserable. Evan went trick or treating (barely) and Eric stayed in. By Sunday, I felt terrible, too. We cancelled everything for Monday and I hoped by Tuesday we would all be on the mend.

We woke up Tuesday morning. I was supposed to have an IEP meeting with Eric's teacher and principle, but he woke up and couldn't walk. So again, to the ER. His regular doctor told us to go to Children's Hospital. We got down there and they did nothing. Never did a pulse ox. Never checked his ears. No one (two doctors and two nurses) couldn't understand why he couldn't walk (he hadn't had any adverse reactions to antibiotics, wasn't dehydrated). Finally, an attending physician came in very nonchalantly, and said this was "common" for 6-10 year old boys to have with the flu. Keep an eye on him, keep him comfortable with lots of fluids, etc. I know I should be thankful for an easy answer, but I was annoyed. My son couldn't walk and they were OK with it.

We got up Wednesday. Evan was finally doing better. Eric seemed better, but by 11 a.m. had a fever again (which he hadn't had since Monday) and was very lethargic. I let him nap, but when he woke up he didn't want to get up. Didn't want to drink. Didn't want to do anything. So, we went to the doctor. They ultimately sent us for a chest x-ray to make sure he didn't have pneumonia. Which, he didn't.

By Thursday, he seemed a bit better, but still sluggish. We were all still napping daily and trying to get better.

On Friday, they both went to school. Eric probably would have done better staying home, but there is no school this coming Thursday and Friday and he had already missed a week because of our vacation.

This weekend was sort of low key--with naps! Though we still have coughs, everyone is (finally) doing better.

Thank God nothing more came of it then a bit of paranoia (and irritation) on my part. I'm glad we have it over and done with, though not getting it at all would have been nice. We better be the healthiest damn family the rest of the winter or I might just lose my mind!

Bermuda, Bahama, Come on Pretty Mama

OK, I'll stop with the cheesy tune-naming for the blog posts!

In a word, vacation was phenomenal. It was five days of wonderful with my family.

My Dad and Lauren treated Rob, the boys and me to a five-day cruise to Bermuda with a travel group called Autism on the Seas. Though the weather wasn't entirely cooperative, the trip was great.

Through this group we were first to get on and off the ship. We had a special dining room where just the 22 people in the group were allowed to dine. So it didn't matter if the kids were wild or whiny. No one cared and no one looked or stared. We had a private excursion. We had special activities for the kids, including a private bridge tour and rock-climbing wall session (my family napped through this, but apparently it was awesome). The kids were able to go to the on-board childcare and the autism leaders checked in periodically. Apparently, if we were a larger group, the kids would have had private childcare as well. It really didn't matter though. The boys liked it and got to go at least once a day, which gave Rob and us a chance to walk around, grab a drink or just relax.

Saturday we left Baltimore in the rain. We didn't do much other than unpack, settle in and meet the group.

Sunday we were at sea all day. The ship was a little rocky. Eric had a bit of a tougher time adjusting to it, which is ironic because he loves to be spun and flipped. I won a slot tournament in the casino--not bad and paid for the tips for the week! The boys managed to get in the pool for a bit, which was nice. This was the formal night on the ship and though our entire traveling group was exempt from the traditional dining room dress code, our entire group got dressed up--kiddos and all!

Monday we got to Bermuda. Literally the minute we stepped off the ship it started pouring down rain. We trekked through the mini-monsoon and got to the ferry that took us to St. George and Tobacco Bay (just so happened to be one of my parents favorite beaches on Bermuda). We were already soaked--literally down to our underwear--once we got on the ferry. Once over to St. George, it cleared for about 15 seconds before it started pouring again. So we ducked into a shop. The tour leader realized it wasn't going to end anytime soon, so he told us to grab lunch. After lunch--and after telling Eric for 3+ hours that we were going to the beach--we finally started to head to the coastline. The weather was looking a bit better, however, after five steps it started pouring again. Might I add, that we had five beach towels with us that started out at three pounds and were now approximately forty! Combine that with Rob carrying Eric and me carrying Evan--though they both did their fair share of puddle jumping. We walked through the rain for about 15 minutes before we finally got to the beach....only to find out that the snack shack and bathrooms were closed--nowhere to change! We held up towels, got the kids and us all ready and hit the ocean...in the driving rain! I know it all sounds terrible, but it was truly an awesome day. The kids rolled with the punches. No one complained of being wet. Evan walked in the rain (something he refuses to do). We all laughed so terribly hard it was insane. If it had been sunny and ideal, it could have been a terrible day for one reason (or tantrum) or another. Even though the weather was less than favorable (OK, it downright stunk!), the kids were so good and patient, and the adults really got to know one another. It was a day we will never forget and will look back on with fondness.

Tuesday the weather was much nicer and we took a trip over to Hamilton, Bermuda, to go to Horseshoe Bay. The boys had a great time playing in the water and on the beach. Though it was beautiful, it wasn't as eventful (or delightful) as Monday.

Wednesday we were at sea again all day. The boys were able to play in the pool for a bit and we got a private tour of the ship's bridge.

Thursday we arrived back in Baltimore. We had our last meal with our group and then left the ship. It was a bittersweet goodbye. In such a short time, we all became fast friends--I guess misery loves company! I have never in my life had such a great vacation. The kids were wonderful. The tour group was great. We were disconnected from the entire world for five days--no cell phones, no email and little to no TV. We all got to spend some quality time with my Dad and Lauren. It truly couldn't have been better.

So much more to say, but I will bore you all with the finer details some other time.

The photos aren't in order of the trip...sorry there are so many, but we had a blast....and this is just a few. Apparently, our group leaders are sending us photo CDs with over 2,000 photos from the trip! I'm sure I will have more to share!

Horseshoe Bay, Bermuda.

Hamilton, Bermuda.

The sun rise coming back into Baltimore.

The party the last night on the ship.

Ahhhh....

Us with the captain. We had a private tour of the ship's bridge.

The ship's pool.

The boys on stage for Pirate Night.

Eric and I in the ocean.

Horseshoe Bay, Bermuda.

Beach bum!

Horseshoe Bay, Bermuda.

Mom Mom, Pop Pop and us on the ferry.

Our foursome on the ferry.

Our ship.

Kings Wharf, Bermuda.

Evan and his buddy, Mason. They were good as long as each had a Leapster!

My cute date for formal night.

The boys in our room. Their beds folded down like bunk beds. They loved it.

Leaving in a Blue Pacifica...

Yeah, it just doesn't have the same ring as the Peter, Paul and Mary tune.

We leave on Friday for our cruise and I couldn't be more ready. Rob and I have been crazy with work. The boys have settled into school and are therefore not as tired at the day's end and are climbing the walls (cabinets, couch, you name it). We are all in need of a break from reality!

I'm really looking forward to spending some QT with my family. I know we are together every day (thank God), but we are so busy and so run down and so inundated with crap (good and bad), that a chance for us to get away and not watch clocks or be there or run here seems wonderful. Though I'm praying for nice weather, it truly doesn't much matter. It is about the boys and seeing them have fun and if it is anything close to as wonderful as our week at the beach back in June, we will be golden.

The boys are doing well. Eric has been super emotional lately. Not sure if it is residual from his sensory integration therapy or his current therapeutic listening or something more. It's hard when he can't tell us. He just gets sad, cries and then is fine. It isn't interferring too much with life, so I'm trying not to focus on it.

His teacher sent a note home last week and wants to meet about his IEP. She wants to change some things. It still hasn't been made clear to me whether it is due to him meeting his goals or that we set his goals to high to begin with. At any rate, he likes going to school. He gets regular good reports and genuinely seems happy. I know that is all that matters.

Evan, as always, is Evan. He has gotten to spend some one-on-one time with Rob recently (which I know they both LOVE). He's so into golf it's insane. Rob and he go to putt putt every other week while Eric and I go to McDonald's and have milkshakes and then go swimming. Eric is ALWAYS wanting Daddy so Evan is inevitably stuck with me, so to change things up is nice for all of us. I get some quality time with Eric and Evan gets some much needed (and deserved) "Daddy time."

Eric is learning his sight words from school pretty quickly...and Evan is right there with him. Though I worry Evan will be bored in Kindergarten next year, I know it is a good thing that he is so very interested in learning new things. I hope that continues for the next 15-20 years!

Not much else to report. Looking forward to vacation and trying not to focus too much on the insanity that we will inevitably come home to!

Doing Well

Both boys are now in school--Eric every afternoon from 1-3:45 and Evan M-W-F from 12:30-3. They are both doing awesome. The running might just kill me by the end of the year--or I might have to pick up an afternoon Starbuck's habit.

Evan's class only has 12 kids in it--seven of which were in his class last year. He is doing really well. Following directions, sitting, playing. On the first day, I had to go in with him to meet the teachers, etc. He had to make a nametag. Last year when he had to make the nametag, it was ugly and embarrassing. This year, he sat, kept adding more and more decorations, writing his name, etc. I know it seems small, but getting him to sit for any type of art project last year was one of his biggest struggles. It doesn't appear that will be the case this year.

He also just had his re-evaluation for speech this past week. It is an annual evaluation to see what he has achieved, how his goals need to be augmented, etc. Last year, he was speaking at a 2y, 7m old and understanding at a 2y, 2m old. This time when he was evaluated, he is speaking and understanding at a 3y, 7m old. Still behind, I know, but he has jumped between 1 and 1 1/2 years in his language in 12 months. It's just more evidence to me that he will eventually catch up!

I texted some of you about how Eric is rockin' Kindergarten. I get notes home every day from the teacher/aid and I haven't gotten anything less than a good since he started. I went into his classroom the other day to speak to his classmates about communication (sort of a roundabout way to explain why Eric (not using his name) may not talk back when they talk to him, that not all kids use their voices to speak, etc.) When I went into the building to sign in and have the secretary call the teacher to tell her I was there, she asked if I was Eric's mom. When I said yes she began to gush about how he is the most beautiful child she has ever seen. Now I know this is not necessarily the case (though he is one of the two cutest kids I've ever seen), but there is a certain light that is emitted from Eric when he is in a supportive, nurturing environment and I'm sure this is exactly what she meant. When he is in such a place, his eyes light up, his face beams and there is truly nothing better than just being around him!

Then, I ran into his speech therapist in the hallway and she was telling me how great he was doing. She asked where the difficult child was that she was warned about during his school evaluations. I explained to her that he hated his TSS in preschool last year and he must really be enjoying himself this year to be behaving so well and listening so attentively. If you hated the people you worked with everyday, you wouldn't work so hard and you would be cranky and miserable. If you like the people you work with everyday, you are more willing to work a bit harder, put in longer hours, etc. Eric's no different.

I could bore you with specific instances about how well he is listening in class, doing things on his own and for himself. More independence then I have ever seen from him. But I won't. There are too many to mention at this point and I am just so proud of him.

We moved into this district simply after hearsay that it was better than the district we had been in. We traded a cozy house with a reasonable mortgage and taxes, for, well, the opposite of that (well, the house is still comfy). We've been here two years and repeatedly question our decision to move. After the horror stories I have heard from another parent in our old district (they had to fight to keep their child out of life skills and the only other alternative was regular ed--no services even close to what we have here), along with the amazing job Eric is doing because of his fabulous teachers and staff....we now know why we moved and are more than thrilled that we did!

Summer Has Come and Passed

I can't believe school has already started--at least for Eric--and vacation is over, day trips are done and the pools are closing. I'm happy for the cooler weather, but sad because this was the first summer that felt semi-normal in our house, i.e. doing things we couldn't do in the past and really enjoying spending time together as a family doing regular family stuff!

School for Eric seems to be going well. It was questionable about how the day would go, could he/would he ride the bus, etc., but once all of that got ironed out (I won't bore you with the inconsequential details), it is going well. I really love his teachers. They are both young, energetic and full of great ideas! No tears were shed on the first day, although I will admit that having to relinquish control over some portion of my child's day is tearing me apart!

There are four kids in his autism support classroom, along with the teacher and three aides. He starts his day in his regular ed classroom with an aide. I'm not sure how the day progresses from there, i.e. when they pull him out to go to his autism room, if they wait for him to be having a difficult time, if he has to leave to go to speech or OT. I know it isn't all ironed out yet as school hasn't even been in session a full week yet.

We have been busy around here--with the usual stuff, but with some fun stuff too! We decided to take an overnight trip to Hershey last weekend. Rob was already in Carlisle for a Corvette show, so the boys and I drove out to meet him. We spent Saturday afternoon at the M&H Railroad where the boys got to ride a real train. Then, we checked into our hotel and took the boys swimming. After we showered and got ready, we headed out to dinner and then to the Park. It was great. Evan really loves the rides and Eric was quite excited to do the water park on Sunday. We woke up Sunday morning and met my sister, Dad and Lauren for breakfast and then went to Chocolate World. After that, we went into the park. Eric only rode the Carousel and the trains, Evan was into just about everything and kept asking if he could ride the roller coaster--sorry buddy, still too small. Rob and Eric eventually took off for the water park. We met them there and Eric was having a blast. He had a life jacket on and just thought it was the bee's knees because he could bob up and down and float all over. He kept going under and didn't care! All in all, it was a really, really nice weekend.

Evan doesn't start school until September 9, but when I asked him the other day why we go to school, he told me "to have fun." Hopefully that attitude lasts the next 14+ years!

We are going to a Pirates game on Sunday with the boys. They have never been so I'm anxious to see how it goes. Eric isn't much for loud crowds, so it could be interesting. We thought his hands might become permanently attached to his ears at Hershey Park, so I can only imagine the ballgame will be the same.

The boys and I went downtown to ride the incline and walk through Station Square. This is them on one of the lookouts from Mt. Washington.

First day of school in Eric's regular ed classroom.

M&H train ride.

M&H train ride.