New Stuff

I never post anything on here other than my family's news.  Time to start passing along some of the items that I read/really like...

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/fighting-autism-and-winning/2010/05/top-ten-stupid-comments-parents-of-typical-children-say-to-parents-of-special-needs-children.html

In light of another attempted mingling with parents of all 'typical' children, I felt compelled to highlight some of the comments that continue to make me laugh and cringe at the same time. I understand you may feel uncomfortable or not know exactly what to say, and although you surely have the best intentions, here are a few phrases to steer clear of:

10. It's so great that you do so much for him, I just couldn't do it.
You are probably right, you couldn't do it...you weren't chosen like we were.

9. You have to meet my nephew who is severely autistic.
Like I am now the autism whisperer and must meet every child, parent, and person with autism in this world because I am in the same situation.

8. Have you tried (insert therapy, supplement, doctor here)?
Treatment and "cure" ideas from moms who aren't affected by autism is very vexing to me personally. I don't mind at all if people ask questions about any of those theories, but it's just going to tick me off if you tell me that my son would be magically cured if only I would do whatever your hairdresser's cousin did with her child.

And I would be rolling in money right now if I had a nickel for every freakin' time someone asked me if I knew that Jenny McCarthy's son had autism too and that she wrote a book, which would most likely fix all of my problems. To this comment, I smile, and politely tell them that Jenny and I are actually quite good friends, and watch their eyes widen in awe. For the record, I have met Jenny once, and have one personal email from her in my inbox :)

7. Wow, he doesn't look autistic!
My other pet peeve is the word, autistic. We don't say, my canceric neighbor. Actually my child is just like your child only he has a comorbid autoimmune disease caused by injury to his immune system as a baby...his 'autistic' symptoms are just symptoms from that brain inflammation. He amazes me every day with his awe-inspiring creativity, empathy, persistence, patience, and brilliance.

This statement is another double edged sword in public because he doesn't look 'affected' by a disability, thus all of his interactions are judged as a typical child. Because those behaviors are sometimes out of the norm, judgment of him and I both ensue....usually not a pretty outcome. Warning... I will call the police if you put your hands on my child!

6. Oh your son has autism, I am so sorry!
No, I am sorry you're so stupid! I am the most blessed and proud mother on this planet with a very important God given job to do. What is your purpose in life?

5. That kid rules the house (from the NBC show Parenthood from a family member). Or You shouldn't let him hit you.
You have no idea what it's like to raise a special needs child...so go worry about your own bratty, rude, typical child...apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

4. The misconception that they aren't bright. It is usually quite opposite. Why is it cool to have a gifted child but not so cool to have a child with an autism label AND a gifted label?
This irked me about that ParentHood show where Julia thinks her child could have autism, but instead is diagnosed as being gifted (hence celebration)...yet her cousin Max who holds an Aspergers diagnosis and is clearly gifted, is portrayed as merely having autism.

I just want to scream my child is way smarter than your child and can kick your kids butt!

3. Your child can't go to school without being vaccinated.
Coming from a parent whom my child goes to school with!

2. Well I'd rather deal with autism than measles or polio...
O.K., just because your child did not have a reaction or vaccine injury doesn't mean that getting measles or polio would be more devastating or difficult than autism. Like you know what it is even like to 'deal with' autism.

1. My child can't sit next to ANY of her friends because she talks too much, so she has to sit next to (my child).
YOUR child is sitting next to my child because she is so disruptive with probable ADHD, that the teacher put her there to benefit from my child's aid...as she could clearly use her own. You obviously didn't hear the comment that she made to my son about him being so 'handsome' and that he is her best friend...God forbid HE be her best friend or she be attracted to him....Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Here is what I think of your parenting skills....

I often feel many parents think just because their child has ________ or their child is (insert personality type) they should be exempt from teaching their children respect, manners, honesty, compassion etc....it seems to me many of the "normal" children are more rude and disrespectful than any ASD child I have ever met, and I know they (the "normal" children) have meltdowns too.