Where Does the Time Go?

As with every lag in my blog posts, real life gets the best of me, and my time! So much has happened, yet little to report. We did family vacation--amazing! A great week at the beach with family (and some friends this year!). The boys had a blast and we all got some much needed (and deserved R&R). Right after vacation, the boys started school. I was looking forward to quiet afternoons at home, getting a lot of work done so I wouldn't be up late at night doing so. And while that has been the case most of the time, I have been busier with the kids lives without them home than I was all summer with them here!

Let me explain. Most parents dutifully put their children on the bus each morning, bellies full of breakfast, brains ready to learn. While that is the case in my house, the minute the bus pulls away I begin to worry. Now most of this is my own neurosis as I am a complete control-freak and my children being out of my care means that I am not in complete control. But Eric won't or can't tell me what happened. He can't explain that he was pulled out of regular education just as they were about to do something super fun because he has to leave at 10:30 to go up to his ASD room. He can't tell me that he was frustrated because first they told him outside recess (yay, slide!), then inside (cool, Legos!), then outside....You get the picture. He won't tell me that they have him doing puzzles every day as busy work (all kids do busy work while others are finishing up), but puzzles are too easy for him. He needs breaks, but can't ask for one, so on many occasions he is worked to the point of meltdown and then people stand around wondering why. I get reports from his TSS at school, I get reports from his teacher, I get notes from the aides, but I don't get the first hand report from my son. It sucks.

I have come to realize that so many people I know are dealing with some sort of special needs child. I know it is the circle of which I live in--waiting rooms in therapists offices, RSS feeds I subscribe to, list serves I am a part of, etc. I am a part of this world partially because I have no other choice, but also because, let's face it, misery loves company. I know there are people who look at my life and think "I couldn't possibly do that." To which, I look at someone else's circumstances and say "I couldn't possibly handle that."

At this time of giving thanks, being with family, appreciating EVERYTHING, I want to say publicly, I LOVE MY LIFE. I am given the gift of amazement every day. My kids inspire me. Evan's ability to literally inhale anything and everything academic. Eric's ability to let the little things slide and smile through adversity. I know, each and every second, my children are a gift to me. Just me. That they are here to make me better, whole, closer to perfect.
I want to do this more. I want to write more. I want to spend more time with other parents who are handling what I handle (but not having pity-parties for themselves), I just don't have the freakin' time. I thought this year. Maybe next year once the boys are both in school full-time.